Toddler Has Left the Building

My first thought when I woke up this morning... "I miss the patter of Cerise's little feet." Wasn't it just yesterday when her walking around the house sounded like running because her steps were too short and brisk? I remember well how the sound of her footsteps always brought a smile to my face and made me giggle at the thought of her coming to me first thing in the morning. This usually prompted me to hide under the covers and pretend I wasn't there but of course she knew and would instantly jump on me and join me under the duvet. This was a special game we used to play everyday....

EXCEPT for one Saturday when someone came knocking at the door at 9am. Edwin was out, to get groceries I think, Cerise was awake playing about while Mummy was trying to sleep in. Cerise hurriedly woke me up so I could get the door. Peeved, I forced myself up and checked who it was. Prayed it was one of my in-laws with an emergency just so this interruption to my slumber is justified but also prayed it wasn't a relative with an emergency coz that would just be devastating. I got to the door and saw the same Jehovah's witness who's knocked at our door in the last 5 years.

I signalled Cerise to be quiet (that old ssshhhh gesture of placing your forefinger on your lips), swayed my head towards the bedroom (my gesture for ignore-the-man-at-the-door-pretend-we-don't-hear-him) and tried to get her excited to play THE game under the duvet. I quickly ran and pulled the duvet over me and waited for Cerise to follow suit. To my horror, she instead chuckled and screamed the words "Mummy, are you hiding?!" "I want to hide too!" with much vigor she may as well have mowed the lawns and woken up the entire neighbourhood. That was the public announcement of my first sin for the day - not answering to God's call. My second sin for the day? Lying to Cerise... for after those innocent yet dreadful words from her, I had the nerve to respond with "No! I'm not hiding. I'm just trying to get more sleep and I wanted to play a game." ... and still ignored the Jehovah's witness. Bad, bad, bad mother!

Today I realise the patter of little feet seems to have been absent for a long time now. My angel is a baby no more. Her steps and pace are not quite like an adult's yet but are more deliberate than a toddler's. It's strange how this saddens me.

Although, she still makes mornings vibrant and beautiful when her head pokes from under the duvet and she speaks of morning greetings, hugs me and I smell her breath that's as sweet as the first time I smelled it when she was born. I think to myself now, "savour these moments because before long, I'd be longing for these as much as I long for the patter of her little feet.